lent as loving formation
“So, what are you giving up for Lent?” Growing up in my liturgical church going home, this question often came up around this time of year. For me, this usually meant thinking of something that I was content to lose and that would require little effort and no sacrifice on my part (like vegetables). In my childhood and adolescent years, Lent felt like an empty and meaningless ritual designed to forgo simple pleasures. As I’ve grown older, my practice of Lent has ebbed and flowed. Some years I’ve tried to give up coffee or chocolate (with mixed success). Other years, Lent catches me off guard and goes on without much thought or consideration. This year, I found myself asking, What is Lent, anyway? How can it be used for my spiritual formation?
The topic of spiritual formation is one that I’ve become increasingly interested in, and I’ve come to find out that formation isn’t just a Christian thing, but a human thing. As humans, we are changing constantly. Our souls are dynamic, not static. The question isn’t “Are you being formed? It’s, Who or what are you being formed into?” You and I are becoming a person. We’re on a trajectory towards either “immortal horrors or everlasting splendors,” as C.S. Lewis puts it in The Weight of Glory. In light of this, I’ve been sitting with this question: Who am I becoming?
Before I get there, I’ve found it helpful to have a vision for who I want to become, and then take a good hard look at who I actually am. If I had to pick one word to describe the person I desire to be, it would be a no-brainer: love. The remaining fruit of the Spirit would definitely make the list, but love is #1. The most important question I can ask myself is, Am I becoming more loving? Because the goal of my spiritual formation is to become like God, and God is love.
So, how does all this relate to Lent? Glad you asked. It shouldn’t surprise you that love just doesn’t naturally flow out of me. Often, I’m driven by self-preservation and pleasure rather than self-giving, others-centered, humble, joyful benevolence and goodwill. I would imagine the same is probably true for you. The unfortunate truth is that formation into loving people doesn’t just happen. It takes conscious, intentional effort. With that in mind, this year I’ve sought to reframe my perspective about Lent from a begrudging chore to a blessed opportunity.
Instead of trivializing Lent, I want to allow this season to lead me into an internal examination of my own heart. Where has love grown cold in my life? Where has my love become disordered, loving some things too much and other things too little? Not only that, but I want to view Lent as opportunity to participate with God in my spiritual formation. How can I lengthen, open, and make myself available to God so that He can transform me into a person of love? What practices or habits will help train my mind, heart and body towards love?
I probably won’t become like Jesus in 40 days even though I’ve been conditioned to expect quick, fast results with minimal effort. Formation takes a long time and it’s not something I can control through sheer willpower. I may not see the payoff for years, maybe decades, but I believe the journey is more than worth it, because when he appears we will be like him and see him as he is (1 John 3:2). In the meantime, my responsibility during Lent is to do what I can do – make space to experience and surrender to God – so that God can do what I can’t do: heal, change and transform me into a person of love.
If I can be so bold, I would like to change the frequently-posed Lenten question and instead ask: How might you use this season of Lent to begin the process of being formed into a person of love?
Emmett Richardson joined Barnabas Triad in 2021. He earned is MA in counseling from Covenant Theological Seminary and his undergraduate degree from Presbyterian College. Prior to counseling, Emmett spent 5 years working in college ministry. Emmett is married to Molly, and they live in Greensboro with their dog Sophie. Outside of counseling, Emmett enjoys CrossFit, exploring local restaurants and coffee shops and spending time with friends and family.
