new wine, new skins
14 Then John’s disciples came and asked him, “How is it that we and the Pharisees fast often, but your disciples do not fast?”
15 Jesus answered, “How can the guests of the bridegroom mourn while he is with them? The time will come when the bridegroom will be taken from them; then they will fast.
16 “No one sews a patch of unshrunk cloth on an old garment, for the patch will pull away from the garment, making the tear worse. 17 Neither do people pour new wine into old wineskins. If they do, the skins will burst; the wine will run out and the wineskins will be ruined. No, they pour new wine into new wineskins, and both are preserved.” (Matthew 9:14-17 NIV)
New and old. Sometimes we just aren’t ready to accept a new perspective. Maybe you’ve experienced this in your life and in relationships with others. Have you ever tried to argue a point? Sometimes when working with couples in a counseling session I’ll stop the conversation when it’s turned into more of a wrestling match of wit and live proofreading of previous events (something we’re all prone to do at times). I’ll then ask each of them to consider what’s happening within them and evaluate what they’re aiming for in the conversation. Amidst a flurry of emotions, they usually recognize that they haven’t been trying to listen anymore and were only concerned with being right.
And why shouldn’t they? When we believe we’re right, we feel compelled to force our point and the results are similar to what happens when my kids stretch and rip an old doll’s clothing into another incompatible toy. It doesn’t work out and both are often broken in the process.
In this passage, Jesus refers to his choice of disciples for a new way of living in the coming Kingdom of God. The metaphors of the cloth and wineskin indicate the incompatibility of the previous way of understanding with the perspectives being revealed to his new people. What made his disciples the right people for the job? Well, they were apparently okay with being wrong most of the time. This seems to be a key feature which separated them from the rest, they could be wrong and yet keep on following Jesus. Where else could they go (John 6:68)?
Fabric needs to move, flex, and bend. We need to be able to expand and hold together as the new wine matures and brews within them.
What a beautiful metaphor for us to consider.
The Christian life will not be propelled by rule, regulation, and cultural tradition. Rather, these things will naturally follow as we respond to the presence of the Bridegroom in our midst, in our very hearts. In other words, it seems that those who have eyes and ears to see and hear the words of Christ are those with flexibility of perspective and courage to be wrong about previous understandings, while learning to live in light of a God that dignifies us with his chosen, invariable love and care for all types of people, even when we are unqualified.
This works in us both theologically and relationally, doesn’t it? How else can we learn if we can’t suspend old views in order to consider others? And, how else can we change unless we are engaged where change takes place, in the recesses of the heart where desires and longings are held and often forfeited in place of the lesser prize of being ‘right.’
Prior to coming to The Barnabas Center in Charlotte in 2018, Kyle worked with families, couples, and individuals at a church in Daytona Beach, FL, for ten years. Kyle received his M.A. in Counseling from Reformed Theological Seminary in Orlando, FL, and has been counseling in the church and in private practice since then.
Kyle has been married to Carlyn since 2005 and they have two daughters. When not in the office or hanging out with his family, he likes to fly fish, spin records, and mind-run The Amazing Race (via TV and couch) with his wife.
