what makes you feel like you?
For me, it’s going on a long walk in nature or in the city, spending time with my husband and daughter, or playing the piano. How do you know when you need to seek this out, the feeling of being at peace in your mind and body? I know I’m past due for some intentional rest when I’m short with my husband, isolating myself from friends, or being dysregulated by a small inconvenience. I also feel it in my body, the classic signs of stress such as tight chest/shoulders, lacking focus, not taking deep breaths, or a general sense of dread that I feel in my gut.
I find it helpful to think of rest in the following categories, which were originally researched and written about by Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith:
- Physical
- Mental
- Sensory
- Creative
- Social
- Emotional
- Spiritual
We all get depleted in each of these areas. Do any of these categories stand out to you specifically? Maybe one where you feel especially exhausted or not “yourself”?
As a mom, I can get overstimulated and need to let my senses take a break (sensory rest). Another category that I resonate with is needing creative rest. Weighed down by the logistics of life, work, managing a home, and parenting, engaging creatively can be deemed as “unproductive” in my mind. It’s easy to not take the time to play piano, write, or paint when you have careers and families and other responsibilities to consider. As a result, my heart and creative mind wilts away while I “get things done.” In the past, when I’ve taken a long break from playing music, I’ve always said “I can get weird.” By that, I mean I don’t feel grounded in myself and have to seek out time with my piano so I can get grounded again. When I don’t feel grounded in myself, anxiety is brought to the forefront, and I lack focus on what’s truly most important to me.
When this happens, I have a couple of choices. I can try to avoid this feeling by distracting myself with more busyness, work, or social media. My other option is to remember the things that are lifegiving and grounding to me and make a plan to engage with them. Even if it’s inconvenient or if I have to say “no” to something else.
From the Christian worldview, this (like most things in life?) can be difficult to hold in tension with other truths. The reality is, because of the fall, we labor and toil and life is exhausting. We haven’t yet reached the full restoration of all things on heaven and earth, so we’re absolutely going to feel that. It’s normal—and even good—because it helps us depend on God and long for the day when all things are made right. At the same time, I really believe God wants us to experience the fullness of life on earth with Him now, even though it will be broken and imperfect. God created us with physical bodies that need rest, not as machines. How can we not honor that?
If you’re reading this blog, my hope is for you to receive this as an invitation to consider something you can engage with that makes you feel rested, more like yourself (or however you want to describe the feeling of “not barely hanging on by a thread”).
You might feel resistance to my invitation, which would make sense. Maybe your pushback would be that this feels too simple or elementary. “It’s not that easy!” you say. No, but it’s a start. Or resistance might be you thinking you don’t have time to do anything restful. It makes sense, life is crazy and chaotic for most of us. I feel all of that resistance, too.
But what’s the cost to our bodies and souls if we don’t make time and don’t ask for what we need to feel more whole?
Finally, can I invite you to get curious about why you’re feeling resistance to an invitation to rest? Curiosity is beautiful and powerful. You could ask yourself questions such as:
- What from your story has shaped how you view work and rest?
- Whose voice is it that’s telling me I shouldn’t need to rest? My own? My parents’? God’s? What am I afraid of that’s causing this resistance inside of me?
- What do I notice in my body when I think about this?
My hope is that we can both take what we need from this invitation and have a chance to breathe deeper this week. I think I’ll start with a 5-minute walk in between clients, and with starting some seedlings for a hopeful future flower garden (very ambitious of me, I know).
Where do you want to start?
Megan began counseling at The Barnabas Center in the summer of 2022. She has a Bachelor of Arts from Southern Illinois University Edwardsville, where she studied Psychology, Religious Studies, and Mandarin Chinese. She received her Master of Arts in Counseling from Reformed Theological Seminary Orlando. Megan lives in Charlotte with her husband, Jon. She loves to spend quality time with friends, go on walks/hikes, and travel to new cities. She enjoys drinking quality coffee, watching shows, and doing yoga.
