Ned-in-My-Head Part II: Dealing with Your Inner Critic

Recently, I named my inner critic.  I chose Ned (short for Ned-in-My-Head, which stands for Negative Edwards; get it?).  The idea, which I got online, is this: nicknaming your inner critic gives a little critical distance to first recognize when it is happening, and then make some choices about how to engage that voice. The more I thought about this, the more hopeful and empowering it became.  Imagine! What if you could relate differently to that inner negative voice?  What if you could get enough distance to actually dialogue productively… Continue reading Ned-in-My-Head Part II: Dealing with Your Inner Critic

ned in my head-part 1: dealing with my inner critic

I’ve got this voice in my head.  Well, maybe not a voice exactly, but not a thought either. Something in between? The “voice” functions like play-by-play analyst commenting on my life.  There is a near-constant stream of it, so that I often don’t distinguish the voice from my regular thoughts. But oh, there is a difference. For one, the voice is negative. That’s why some people call it the inner critic.  Let’s say I’m in conversation with someone and I forget their name.  My regular thought might say, I can’t… Continue reading ned in my head-part 1: dealing with my inner critic

“peevish” is me-ish

Last Sunday, on my way to the COVID policy-compliant church service, I realized that I’d forgotten my mask. Oh bother, I thought (with a less-than-compliant attitude), now I’ll have to find an alternative or go home to get mine.  Fortunately my wife had an extra, but without the little wire thingy to mold it around the bridge of your nose. Each time I spoke or sang, my glasses fogged up. I grumbled, Effective aerosol containment, huh? I readjusted it and settled in to my practiced church-service-rhythm. It was all going… Continue reading “peevish” is me-ish

why am i so defensive?

Turning off Threatened with finger on electrical switch

Taking things personally is my spiritual gift. It doesn’t take much to “activate” my special ability. A driver cuts me off in traffic; I flinch in indignation. Someone doesn’t notice what I do; I take it as rejection. The circumstances vary, but my reaction is predictable. I feel/perceive a relational pinch,  identify it as a threat, then launch one of my defensive postures. It’s all very seamless and takes mere nanoseconds to dive into it. It takes longer, however, to come out of it. I’d like to think that my… Continue reading why am i so defensive?

couples counseling

Roger Edwards joined The Barnabas Center in 1991. He works with both individuals and couples, helping people confess their need and embrace their available choices to lead healthier lives. Roger also teaches and leads discussion groups and retreats applying the Gospel to everyday life. He is a licensed clinical mental health counselor (LCMHC), holds a master’s degree in biblical counseling from Grace Theological Seminary in Indiana and a bachelor’s degree in engineering from the University of North Carolina at Charlotte. He is married to Jean; they have seven children and… Continue reading couples counseling

make choices

Roger Edwards joined The Barnabas Center in 1991. He works with both individuals and couples, helping people confess their need and embrace their available choices to lead healthier lives. Roger also teaches and leads discussion groups and retreats applying the Gospel to everyday life. He is a licensed clinical mental health counselor (LCMHC), holds a master’s degree in biblical counseling from Grace Theological Seminary in Indiana and a bachelor’s degree in engineering from the University of North Carolina at Charlotte. He is married to Jean; they have seven children and… Continue reading make choices

people are more than biological, but not less

Vector cartoon stick figure drawing conceptual illustration of sick infected man coughing or sneezing and spreading infection of coronavirus covid-19 or flu.

I’m having weird interactions. Walking down the sidewalk, I meet a stranger coming toward me. We eye each other. I used to look for signs of a warm disposition, but now I’m looking for signs of fever. I used to check out their running shoes, now I am screening for a running nose. I feel guilty for my suspicion.  I’m not uneasy about their character, but rather their creatureliness. It’s their biological-ness that worries me. I know they can’t help it, but they’re a walking petrie dish, a warm fleshy… Continue reading people are more than biological, but not less

what’s happening to us?

Rear-Ended What’s happening to us? A few weeks ago, we were planning our spring. The kids were all in school. March Madness was about to begin (this year, the madness is for real). Then the news starting dribbling in, slowly, in bits and pieces. Corona-what? Surely, this will go away. Then the snowball began: flights abbreviated, concerts postponed, sports canceled, schools closed. And then came the stay-at-home orders. What’s happening to us? It’s happening fast. But, it also feels surreal, like slow motion. I’m all conflicted about it, cycling through… Continue reading what’s happening to us?

a house of cards

As the current situation with COVID-19 unfolds, I rotate through a series of emotions.  I am frustrated with all the “panic.”  Then I get uncomfortable.  Am I taking this seriously enough?  So I go buy more toilet paper.  And get frustrated with the “overreacting” people in line ahead of me. I alternate between skepticism and uneasiness.  I want predictability.  I want my ordinary life back.  And then I remember that Jesus taught me that “ordinary life” is full of trouble, thorns, thistles, and death.   Read this this quote by CS… Continue reading a house of cards

confess your stress

a sculpture of the mythic Atlas holding the world over a white background

Just last week, my wife asked me a simple question and I became defensive. My reaction was quick, automatic. Didn’t even have to think about it. It didn’t feel like a choice, but…it was. We were getting ready for bed when she asked, “Why do you go into work so early?” I didn’t see the question coming, but you would have thought I did based on the series of ready-made responses. I was several sentences into it before I noticed my volume, my tone, my heart rate. But I quickly… Continue reading confess your stress