Author: Roger Edwards

Why Am I SO Defensive?

  I’ve noticed that I can be defensive. A little. Just sometimes. Mostly, I feel that I am really nice – given the circumstances. But yes, sometimes I can be a wee bit touchy. Like the other day, I was doing push-ups in the living room. My wife, who I thought would be impressed, suggested helpfully from her chair, “Do you realize that you’re only moving up and down a few inches?” “Oh really…” I said. “Yes, I think a push-up is supposed to get nearer the floor.” That’s what… Continue reading Why Am I SO Defensive?

Moody Man

I am, though embarrassed to admit it, a moody man. Something small can occur – say slow traffic, a printer malfunction, or a critical comment – and my insides churn. I feel suddenly thrown off-course. I cast about for direction. Sometimes, the mood can last for hours. It can worsen. When a mood sours, it can change the course of my day, causing procrastination, loss of connection with others, and the forfeiture of gratitude. Yes, my moods sometimes go unhealthy places. I am, though I try to hide it, a… Continue reading Moody Man

A Year is a Circle

  We tend to think of life as a line – a timeline. At the beginning of a new year, I often sit down to set goals.  Often I draw a timeline to plan the sequence of steps. I like those lines, they suggest progress. You pencil in your goals and you see what you must do this month and how to build on that the next month and so on. Eventually, you see a way to lose the weight, complete your studies or pay off the mortgage. The timeline… Continue reading A Year is a Circle

Christmas Play

Christmas Play – Human is Where God Goes I have performed in many, many Christmas plays. But my most brilliant role came at the tender age of 10, when I played the Angel Gabriel – the Archangel Gabriel. It came down to me and Jimmy Sizemore. However, due to superior talent and the fact that my Aunt Rachel made the costume, I got the part and Jimmy played a shepherd. Yes, Gabriel was my most brilliant role. I mean this quite literally. Gabriel lit up the stage. My costume, consisting… Continue reading Christmas Play

There’s an App for That

“I spread out my hands all the day to a rebellious people, who walk in a way that is not good, following their own devices…”  – Isaiah 65:2 Seems like there’s an app for everything. Do you want to know something, anything? There’s an app for that. In our pocket is Wikipedia – the collected knowledge of the whole of civilization. So if we find ourselves stymied in a philosophic discussion, we can, on the spot, find the answer; “Siri – who played Marcia on The Brady Bunch?” We can… Continue reading There’s an App for That

Reseeding the Lawn: Management or Mystery?

This Fall, I’m going to reseed my lawn. This time, I really mean it. Last year I kept putting it off. “It is still too hot.” “I don’t want to start all that watering just yet.” “Oh, the leaves are down.” “Oh well.” Then, it was winter. But the calendar turned round and here we are again.   I already bought the seed – which wasn’t easy. All grass seed isn’t the same anymore. Do you buy the ‘Turf-Building’, the ‘Quick-Lawn,’ or the ‘Grassology-Seed’? Apparently, seeds can’t just fall off… Continue reading Reseeding the Lawn: Management or Mystery?

Resentment: Re-Chewing Past Disappointments

“Be not quick in your spirit to become angry, for anger lodges in the heart of fools.” Ecclesiastes 7:9 Anger resides in the heart of fools? Uh-oh. That would mean that I am a fool. Resentment has been living in my heart for years. I hide it. I don’t express it out loud (well, there’s the sarcasm and ‘jokes’). But internally, it is active. I ‘re-feel’ a lot of my past. I’m like a cow chewing (or more precisely ‘re-chewing’) it’s cud. I bring up old injuries and re-play them… Continue reading Resentment: Re-Chewing Past Disappointments

It’s Not What You Say; It’s How You Say It

  “It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it,” one spouse will say to another in my office. I have wished that I had a dime for every time I’ve heard someone say it. Then I think, “Oh wait, I’m a marriage counselor, I do have a dime for every time I’ve heard it.” But you get the point, this is a common sentiment. It is common because human being aren’t merely fact machines. When someone gives us the facts, it isn’t enough. Similarly, when we are in… Continue reading It’s Not What You Say; It’s How You Say It

Admitting Need

  “I love the Lord, for he heard my voice; He heard my cry for mercy.”  Psalm 116 Honestly admitting need is, for me, a unique event. I reserve it for only very special occasions – like when I am about to drown. This actually happened once. I was 25, caught in a rip tide at the Outer Banks. I was separated from my friends. No one near me, except for three teen-aged boys, who happened to be surfing. The current was pulling me away from them – another few… Continue reading Admitting Need

CT Scan

  My oncologist sent me for a CT scan. “My oncologist” – not a phrase I ever wanted in my vocabulary. Yet I do have an oncologist (more about this later). And he did send me for a CT scan. A CT scan is a look inside – past any fig leaves. It produces a computerized X-ray image called “tomography.” My “tomography” is a cross-section, slice-by-slice image of the length of my abdomen. But you might as well call it a “peeping tomography” for the feeling it generates. The image… Continue reading CT Scan