a picture of self-care

6243695 - wooden chair on beach of relaxing lake at sunset

minding the gap

  “Forgive yourself for not knowing what you didn’t know before you learned it.”—Elisha Goldstein Lately, I have felt like a novice at some new things being asked of me.  There are things I want and need to lean into, yet I hate how this makes me feel.  My very wise supervisor has said that in order to live fully, people have to be open to development.  Mastered habits that have kept me safe and protected feel cozy, but they don’t lend to real living. I see this as I… Continue reading minding the gap

one eye on the dark

  “Rejoicing is not the denial of bad news. It is the bone-deep conviction of news so good it will one day bring eternal relief to this ailing creation. It is an audacious act of faith in Christ and brave defiance against the darkness threatening to engulf us.” –Beth Moore We just experienced the eighteenth anniversary of September 11, 2001.  For the first time since that day, I was on a plane on 9/11 this year.  I shuffled through security lines, regretting my choice of slip-on shoes without socks.  I… Continue reading one eye on the dark

surrendered conversations

  I recently read an entertainment article featuring the beloved and prolific Julia Roberts detailing her process for starting films on set.  She mentioned that before she can begin any actual script work, she takes a day or two to walk around and connect with—or befriend—all the people she’ll be working with, from other actors, to assistants, to caterers.  A day or two.  She reported this was part of a process she needs for her social anxiety, to get her relaxed enough to do the real work.  This woman commands… Continue reading surrendered conversations

poolside resurrection

  “There was no sudden, striking, and emotional transition. Like the warming of a room or the coming of daylight. When you first notice (healing) it has already been going on for some time.” —C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed   It has been sweltering the last several days, causing me to wonder whether it’s always this hot overnight in mid-May.  I’ve frequented our pool and–like all parents of young children who are raring to be done with school–am amazed that we are already at the edge of summer.  So, this past Sunday… Continue reading poolside resurrection

a weary world rejoices

  When my little one was tiny enough to be rocked, I rocked her and sang to her before bed each night.  She’s seven now and, truth be told, if you peer into our window at home you may catch me still trying that. During her second Christmas season, I sang carols to her as we rocked in her nursery rocker.  When we turned the corner into a new year, she asked me to keep singing the songs of Advent that her two-year-old heart had come to love.  So, until… Continue reading a weary world rejoices

Setting Down the Pen

As a writer with zero formal training, I never know quite what to expect in the creative process when I sit down to share thoughts and words. Some days, my words hit dull, and feel more pithy than relevant. There are others where I feel afraid of what I write; ‘what will readers think of me’, and also, ‘am I willing to do what I ask readers to do?’ And there are days when I sit down and words come easily, flow together, and paint a picture. On these days,… Continue reading Setting Down the Pen

Signpost of Love

“God’s kindness is meant to lead you to repentance…” Romans 2:4      Remember with me for a moment; remember times, seasons, places, people with whom you felt safe. Remember scenes of rest, fun, beauty. My beloved grandmother will turn eighty-eight this year. I take my little one to spend time at her house each week, because I want my girl to soak up the feeling of my grandmother. I want her warmth to be imprinted onto Charlotte’s heart, just as pain and hardship surely will be. We sit on her… Continue reading Signpost of Love

Please Don’t Send Dwight

There is a scene deep into Season 2 of my favorite show of all time, The Office. On an episode titled “The Injury,” the shocking, yet lovable Michael Scott calls in late to his receptionist. He has not shown up for the workday, and as we watch, we learn that he has quite unfortunately burned his foot on a Foreman grill in an attempt to make breakfast before work.  Michael calls his office, because his office is his family. He begs the office workers for various things: toilet paper, a… Continue reading Please Don’t Send Dwight

Receiving the Truth in Love

Psalms 34:5 “Those who look to Him are radiant, and their faces shall never be ashamed.”     It is said that shame is a function of the eyes, that it involves a public exposure of my inadequacy. In its simplest form, I am seen, and not wanted.  And since, it seems, I have been created to be told who I am, how I am, from some Source outside of myself, shame can feel like a setup. If the thing I crave most deeply is witness, sooner or later my desire… Continue reading Receiving the Truth in Love