Author: Mollie Souza

Looking for what I already have

  A friend walked in my house the other day, peeling off her winter layers.  She stopped mid-step, looked down, and began to retrace her steps in search of something.  She voiced that she had lost one of her gloves somewhere in between the short walk from the door to the kitchen.  Oblivious to the fact that the Velcro on her jacket had snatched her glove so that it stuck so perfectly under her scarf just outside of view, she asked if I had seen it.  What was such a… Continue reading Looking for what I already have

Grief is a Foreign Land

  I experienced great loss right before I went to college, not because I was leaving all that was known but because I found out that all I knew wasn’t as I thought it was.  The world did not get my permission when it turned upside down.  Nope, the universe didn’t consult me at all.  My input, my feelings, my suggestions were not considered.  My voice was silenced and there was hardly a warning.  Sure, there were signs of movement, change, and shifting but it was subtle and incongruent with… Continue reading Grief is a Foreign Land

Old struggles, new mercies

On the heels of Jesus’ birthday party comes a time where we raise and clink our glasses to celebrate the start of a new year.  Both the Advent season and the New Year have this ability to sprinkle hope in our midst.  And yet, inevitably, there are smears of disappointment or a sticky residue of profound heartache that competes with that hope.  We are living in an “already but not yet,” world, bearing the tension of the joy of our salvation right next to the still existent brokenness.  This tension… Continue reading Old struggles, new mercies

Responding to World News

  “The natural desire to avoid pain directs us toward a path of independence, but if hunger is deeply felt, it will lead to a path of chosen dependence on a Person greater than ourselves.” – Dan Allender Lately I’ve come to see that grieving is as much a part of living as is hoping.  I know this sounds strange, but we must remember we were all born out of pain.  We left our mothers’ womb to enter the life we were created to live.  Something is lost: the comfort… Continue reading Responding to World News

His Presence

. “Live like Jesus died yesterday, rose this morning, and is coming back tomorrow.” – Martin Luther At the beginning of March, I got to see my Granddaddy for the last time on this side of heaven.  His eighty-seven years had seen pneumonia before, but this time his body was weak and raising the white flag.  I knew I was saying “Goodbye” when I saw his chest struggling up and down in the hospital bed.  He was diagnosed with Parkinsons Dementia a couple years back, so his true self has… Continue reading His Presence

Straitjacket

  So often I put myself in a straitjacket.  A provocative word – but I use it to emphasize that I am the one who self-restrains.  Nobody else seems to confine or limit me more than me. And it seems that the older I get, the less free I become. Sometimes, there are many movements I want to freely make, postures to take, or places to go, but I resist desire and instead – follow the “shoulds” of life that bind instead of free me.  Enslaved by my fear, I… Continue reading Straitjacket

Simple Reminder – Significant Truth

. Proverbs 27:17 – Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another. My friend was strong in his conversation with me. He wasn’t aggressive or argumentative.  He was just simply battling my lies with the Truth, gently and thoughtfully with his words.  He said, “Mollie, Jesus died for you because He loves you, not because of what He thought you would do for Him one day.” While I had heard this statement many times in Sunday school, at camp, in Young Life, at church, Bible studies, mission trips, etc, it… Continue reading Simple Reminder – Significant Truth

Best Gifts: Grace Upon Grace

“At Grandmama’s house…I can have ezer. I. want!” – (translated: “At grandmama’s house I can have whatever I want.”  This was a claim I felt entitled to as a spoiled, four-year-old little girl, and this is something that my family likes to remind me of often.  It was true though; I felt delighted in and loved so much that I began to feel entitled to it as well as accustomed to it.  Emma Jo’s daily vocabulary towards most and specifically towards her grandbabies consisted of “Well, honeys,” “Sure, darlins,” and… Continue reading Best Gifts: Grace Upon Grace

Wanting to Dig Deeper

I’m currently a student in the counseling program at Gordon-Conwell  and I find myself hungering to know what it really takes to be a good counselor.  I keep hoping that I can do so osmotically by merely working here at The Barnabas Center on the administrative side.   I keep wishing to glean and soak in some of the goodness of the counselors here.  While I’ve learned lots by observation and conversation, I know that there is  my own work to be done in order to become the kind of counselor… Continue reading Wanting to Dig Deeper