Author: Palmer Trice

Dependence on God

By nature, the idea of depending on someone or anything seems weak, perhaps unhealthy.  For example, it’s not good to depend on alcohol.  A friend recently confided in me that alcohol is the only thing that brings relief from some very difficult life situations.  He knew enough to be worried for himself.  I was too. Depending too much on a person, even on my most special person (Lynne, my wife), can become co-dependence, meaning that I can need her too much.  She becomes too important or powerful, and in my… Continue reading Dependence on God

Marriage – Not Being Alone

I have learned something new about marriage this year.  Something that felt less significant has now become more so.  Something that once felt like a given has now become something to be valued.  Something trite has become much more meaningful. I’ve been married for 39 years.  I have been married much longer than I was single.  I share virtually everything in my life with Lynne.  We share the same friends, the same church, the same home, the same kids, the same city, and even the same family (to a meaningful… Continue reading Marriage – Not Being Alone

Forgiveness: Which is Harder?

Which is harder?  Owning my own stuff – my meanness, thoughtlessness, judgementalism… and asking for forgiveness?  Or is it harder to wipe the slate clean and let someone completely off the hook when they have really hurt me?  I’m not sure… I find myself more willing and able to see my own fallenness and less surprised too.   Jerkiness might be a more appropriate word than “fallenness.”  (Actually, there are stronger words that you can’t put on a blog.)  But over time, it is clearer and clearer to me that I… Continue reading Forgiveness: Which is Harder?

Depression – I Get It and I Don’t

I used to think that all depression was the same.   There were days and sometimes weeks when I might awake to a sense of gloom.  It might include some sadness.   It would include feeling less energetic.  I would be aware of having less anticipation or hope.  I might find myself being more irritable than normal, blaming others for things that I normally might not even see.  But I could function.  I kept eating normally, sleeping normally, and finding pleasure in the same things I normally enjoy.  If you asked me… Continue reading Depression – I Get It and I Don’t

You are Loved by God

  “You are loved by God.” I am staring at that sentence.  It’s the prompt they gave me for this blog.  And I don’t know what to say. I know the sentence is true.  Or I believe it’s true.  But when I am honest, it isn’t something I often feel. God and I spend pretty regular time together.  I read His Word.  I talk through my heart and the things I am doing with Him.  I confess my sinful independence and I petition often for friends.  I try to join… Continue reading You are Loved by God

The Best Way to Start a New Year…

The Best Way to Start a New Year… …Is to look back before you look forward.  I know that sounds counter-intuitive.  But we are men and women on a journey with God.  We aren’t starting at zero, or at the beginning.  We are somewhere in the middle, with a story that has been and is being written; a story that we get to craft right now. I tend to start with my destination – or at least what I think should be my destination.  But as the story behind me… Continue reading The Best Way to Start a New Year…

Trying to Right-Size Christmas

It’s Christmas time again… already… Didn’t we just go through this?  What did I give last year?  Where did I find the present?  What do I do this year?  Whose stocking did I draw?  What little things would they want?  Should we buy the tree yet?  Last year it dried out too soon.  Where was it that we got it?  Hmmmmm… And then there is the social calendar… Are we included in any Christmas parties?  Do we want to try to squeeze in a special Christmas concert or play?  What… Continue reading Trying to Right-Size Christmas

Thankful Habits

A friend made this observation to me today… ”Do you always use the same locker at the Y?”  Oh my gosh!  Every time I go to the Y, I go to the same spot, use the same locker, and am irritated if someone else is using it.  As we talked, I asked myself why.  Why do I keep using that locker?  It gets stuck.  I have to pry it open.  There are 100 other lockers that open easier.  I could use the one next to it and sit on the… Continue reading Thankful Habits

When to Speak and How

We all fall off of the horse on one side or the other.  We confront too easily or we avoid confrontation at all costs. Some of us don’t think much about how others might respond to our words.  We aren’t fearful of their reactions or their hurt or anger.  We just put it out there. On the other hand, some of us choose our words very carefully.  We tiptoe into saying something that might offend, fearful of hurting the other or of being rejected by them.  We call those people… Continue reading When to Speak and How

Self Care in Order to Give

I don’t know about you.  (Actually I think I do.)  But I am wired to take care of myself.  It is pretty natural to do what feels like is best for me.  But then, what feels best isn’t always what really is best… For years I had an aversion to the very phrase “self-care.”  It felt selfish, self-consumed, not other-centered, not giving or loving or all that good Christian stuff.  And to some degree, I still fear that the notion can be used that way.  But I was a little… Continue reading Self Care in Order to Give