re-member
What does it mean to remember? According to AI, the primary Hebrew word for “to remember” is Zakar (זָכַר). In Hebrew, this signifies more than just mental recollection; it represents an active, “body-and-soul” remembrance—recalling something to mind and subsequently taking action based on that memory.
What does it mean to remember the past? Two very different experiences stirred me to ponder that question, using the above definition.
As my daughter recently prepared to graduate from high school, we went through photos from her life—and ours—since 2008 for her graduation slideshow. Each image brings back vivid memories: the joy and nervousness of holding her as a newborn, the heartbreak of her decision to quit gymnastics, and more. Having a camera always on hand has left us with a vast collection of moments to revisit. We experienced the loss of having a “little girl”, the excitement and grief of graduation and of her moving on; the acceptance of life always changing in small and significant ways that comes from being a parent.
The second experience involved me listening to a podcast that is going through the news/events of the 1970’s. Though I was technically around for the second half of that decade, I have no actual memory of what it felt like to live through that political corruption and scandal (Watergate), journalism being censored (the CIA papers), that unpopular war (Vietnam) or the anxiety of gas shortages (oil embargo), etc.
Oddly enough, I found the fact that I didn’t know about what had happened around the time of my birth both disturbing and relieving. Disturbing, because how did I not know any of these important and impactful events that were the milieu of my development? That wasn’t that long ago and yet it was a lifetime ago. I was relieved because, obviously, life moved forward from those real and temporary hardships.
Back to our original definition, I see two main ways we don’t “zakar”. One error is to never reflect on or pay attention to what is important or what has happened that shapes our lives. When that happens, every drama feels like it’s the first time we’ve ever experienced it and like it will never end. Therefore, impulsive body and soul reactions dictate our every day as we anxiously remain in fight or flight to survive. Though these impulses were necessary at one time, not carefully tending to the root of these reactions is irresponsible.
The other error is to dwell on the past and never take intentional action. If we fixate on our history, we cease to be responsible or response-able (the ability to choose to respond). This happens regardless of if the fixation is on positive or negative events. Seeing with rose colored glasses ceases to take seriously the actual challenges that have happened. Whereas seeing with only despair misses the subtle beauty and creativity that was also present. Body and soul remembrance honors the whole story.
I remember hearing that there is always a tension between progress (looking ahead) and conservation (holding on to what was) That is true for the broader society as well as individual and familial life. We need both. We need Zakar.
Kurt Zuiderveen joined The Barnabas Center in 2008. Kurt earned his bachelor’s from Grand Valley State in Michigan and his master’s in counseling in 2004 from Reformed Theological Seminary in Orlando, Florida. He is married to April and they have three children.
Kurt divides his time between our main office in Charlotte and our office in Davidson.
