Struggle, Joy, Struggle, Joy

My house, it’s dirty. The floors are sticky like 2 minutes after I mop them it seems. There are tiny shoes and clothes strewn throughout and some awful smell coming from the fridge. It’s the daily struggle and joy.

The struggle, like the laundry, never ends – but neither does the joy of knowing I have laundry to do for my little ones.

My loneliness and my dirty home feel like my walk with Jesus.  I struggle with feeling like I have to have it “all together” when truthfully, my battles with sin run so deep they keep me hiding behind the faux cleanliness. And the shame can be paralyzing. It can feel as though I am alone in my struggle.

But then there is the joy – the joy of getting the glimpse of the Gospel that I have heard time and time again but so often forget – the joy of being reminded that my struggle and sin don’t surprise Jesus. It did not surprise Him when the ones closest to him fled after He was arrested, and it did not surprise Him when Peter openly denied Him. He knew they would. Yet God who knows the darkest part of me, the part that I don’t even know, also brings me to the joy of the finishing work of the cross. The disciples understood it and forgot it, too.

It’s the daily walk, well, more like the hourly walk of how often I forget and need reminding of the truth and beauty of the Gospel.  It’s almost like taking little steps, with my tired feet saying, “Struggle, joy, struggle, joy.”

Brittany received her BS in Apparel Merchandising with a Minor in Business from East Carolina University. She previously worked at Barnabas on the development team and is now at home with her newborn twins, Wesley and Finley. Brittany has been married to Daniel for 8 years.  And when she is not changing diapers, she enjoys writing about her home renovations and life with twins on her Facebook page The Stiling Haven.