Author: Meredith Cloninger

His Faithfulness

“Because of the Lord’s great love, we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness.” Lamentations 3:22-23 I find it daunting to stand up strong the last week of December, looking into the horizon of the new year.  I never quite know how to put away my cherished season of Advent wonder and frankly most years, I do not want to let go of the richness and security that the Christmas season brings me faithfully every year.  I know that for… Continue reading His Faithfulness

Unlikely Redemption

“When Emmanuel came, he disappointed expectations of many; they failed to see that the reality was better than their expectations…” Miroslav Volf I wonder how often I miss the Father’s redemptive intervention in my daily life because it doesn’t look like the salvation I expect.  My conversations with God usually go like this: I direct Him to the ache I most need Him to meet, but then keep my self-assured grip around what I believe would be best.  It’s funny how this kind of prayer does nothing to hush the… Continue reading Unlikely Redemption

Patience

Do you know where my mind goes when someone asks me to think about and write on the “Fruits of the Spirit?” I remember lemonade and animal crackers; sitting in my little Sunday school chair while my sweet teacher deftly places felt pieces of different fruits onto our green felt board. She asks her little flock of second graders where we have been able to demonstrate love, joy and self-control this past week. She encourages us to think about showing these qualities to our friends and family in the coming… Continue reading Patience

Show Up

It is hard for me to really show up in mutual conversations. I am sure this is not uncommon, but given that I make a living asking questions and listening to intimate places in women’s’ hearts, this shocks me a little. My job interview five years ago at Barnabas was intimidating: two counselors whom I respected (and feared a little), met with me for several hours. I left the interview in a fog. I remember only one question: “How do you relate to your friends as different than your clients?”… Continue reading Show Up

Resting From Heaviness

  Addiction in a family system looks like somber heaviness.  Family interactions are intense, reactive, hurtful, and blaming.  Even after sobriety is reached, the relational dynamic of heaviness can linger. Family members tend to get stuck in obsessive reflection along with critical and negative thinking. Joy isn’t around.  Fun feels foolish or irrelevant. This heaviness comes from the cumulative weariness of ungrieved losses and battles for control.  But what if letting go, just for this day, looks like trusting God enough to relax, even in the middle of trouble in… Continue reading Resting From Heaviness

The Blessed Set-Up

  Have you noticed that your spouse’s way of living tends to aggravate your way of living? Have you noticed that their reaction to pain and their selfish habits hit you in a vulnerable spot?  Prior to marriage, my typical response to pain was to control people and things to make myself feel a little more secure.  And my husband, prior to marriage, often felt controlled by others.  My self protection bumps up against his, and fireworks ensue. It feels like a total set-up.  It is. Our old messages about… Continue reading The Blessed Set-Up

Letting Go

I have never loved that feeling of the upward climb of the first hill on a roller coaster. I know what’s coming next; the peak and downward rush when my stomach flies into my throat and I grab the seat bar in white-knuckled fear. Let’s be honest: I don’t really love the whole roller coaster experience. I will endure it for the sake of a funny memory or time with someone I love, but the whole “strap you in with a five point harness in a little car barreling along… Continue reading Letting Go

Grief is a Journey

“There was no sudden striking emotional transition.  It is like a room warming up or the coming of daylight.  When you first notice healing, it has already been going on for some time.” C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed Grief is a journey, marked by movement.  But most people experiencing depression are not moving. They feel stuck, until they receive help.  Yet, the two emotional experiences feel so similar. Anyone who has walked through grief following a major loss can remember times of feeling depressed. If movement is what sets grief… Continue reading Grief is a Journey

Chasing the Light

“A family is like a small orchestra.  Each of us has an important part to play. To achieve harmony, we tune into how others are sounding. We recognize that every orchestra needs a conductor, a center for direction. We rely on [God] for this support and guidance…” Today’s’ Gift: Daily Meditations for Families, Hazelden Meditations, 1985 . I am honestly unsure of how old I was when I began to “tune in” to how the others in my family were doing.  This habit has been my companion as long as… Continue reading Chasing the Light

First Forgiveness

I had broken the cardinal rule of the firstborn child, and I still remember walking to my mom’s car feeling the downward tug of dread and disappointment.  I had gotten my name on the board of Mrs. Fanny’s kindergarten class, having been caught in the act of exchanging one too many comments and giggles with a classmate.  For as long as I can remember, I memorized rules and expectations, trying so carefully to stay within the parameters set for me by the adults in my world.  I am sure that… Continue reading First Forgiveness