Author: Meredith Cloninger

Why the Cross Matters Now

  Robert was a second father to me; my best friend’s dad. A straight-laced, smart man, who was firm with us in a way that helps a child’s heart rest. His presence filled the need I had for structure, masculine strength, and something to lean against. I was a girl of eight, and my own dad was busy flying across the ocean to begin a new career and set up a new life for my mom, sister and me in England. I loved my best friend’s house. I’d lived near… Continue reading Why the Cross Matters Now

Grief and Movement

. “I can’t sleep. There’s too much weighing on my mind. But there’s a bird out there. Still singing in the dead of night. Like he knows there a season, when the sun is gonna set. But the story isn’t over yet…” Andy Gullahorn, 2012 Do you remember your first real heartache? The one that stole your breath and left you motionless? Life had been moving on a predictable plain. You knew what would come tomorrow, and the day after. And suddenly, you didn’t. Or maybe, that’s not how it… Continue reading Grief and Movement

Light on my Path

“Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.”  Psalm 119:105 I’m not usually a “resolver.” The fresh page of January does not inspire me to goal-setting; it mostly inspires me to hunker down in front of my fire and wait for the first signs of spring life. Maybe it’s a generation thing. Maybe it has more to do with my personality.  I listen to my internal world, to what “feels” true or what “feels” healthy. Resolutions seem too behavioral, like too much of a… Continue reading Light on my Path

Who Is Jesus?

  “6Is this not the fast that I choose: to loosen the bonds of wickedness, to undo the straps of the yoke, to let the oppressed go free? 7Is it not to share your bread with the hungry, and bring the homeless poor into your house; when you see the naked, to cover him, and not hide yourself from your own flesh…12You will be called the repairer of the breach, the restorer of streets in which to dwell.” Isaiah 58: 6-7; 12 “5He who was seated on the throne said,… Continue reading Who Is Jesus?

Small Enough to Practice Gratitude

“Only with great difficulty does a shaft of light pierce the armor of self-righteousness.” Lois Wilson If you had told me five years ago that I would get to a place where I practiced gratitude, I would have laughed. I would have tossed my head back like Sarah, heavy with a heart of pain and cynicism, when God spoke His crazy promise to her. My heart has been old for much too long. It has seen long seasons of inexplicable barrenness both for me and people I love. For me,… Continue reading Small Enough to Practice Gratitude

Why Am I So Defensive?

“Would you rather be right, or would you rather be happy?” My friend kindly cut me with her question, because she wanted more for me than what I was choosing. We’d spent almost an hour sitting and talking, and I was using our time to explain that someone I cared about was hurting me. I had offered my case, qualifying each piece of my pain with a justification for why they needed to see things my way and change.  Right or happy? Were these mutually exclusive? Was my demand to… Continue reading Why Am I So Defensive?

A Closer Look at Parenting

I am in the throes of parenting a three year old little girl.  This girl has a kind and sensitive heart. She’s a watcher of people, and very aware of what her heart wants. She is also willful and intense. She comes by it honestly.  Though I am trained to help adults stumble to hope through conversation, I definitely have no training in how to be strong and bigger than she is when she is having a meltdown, or expressing the hundredth need of the hour. Many days, I feel… Continue reading A Closer Look at Parenting

Seeing In the Dark

I have always wanted to name things.  Friends laugh at how quickly I diagnose public personalities, and how hyper-aware I am of my own inner-workings. I name, I judge, I scramble to come up with the answer inside myself to try to face what I need to face. Seeing and speaking also flow from me, when I remember that the Spirit is running the show, in a way that blesses clients and friends in lonely and confused places. It’s a gift that saw me through a lot of confusion growing… Continue reading Seeing In the Dark

Naomi

. “Do not call me Naomi, call me Mara [bitter]; for the Almighty has dealt very bitterly with me. I went away full and the Lord has brought me back empty. Why call me Naomi when He has brought calamity upon me?” Ruth 1:20-21 It must take a lot of pain to bring a woman whose name means “sweet and delightful” to throw such a precious piece of identity aside. Her pain must have been crushing, buckling her to the ground and pushing her to take on another identity all… Continue reading Naomi

Longing for Strong Arms

 . We are standing out in the shallow surf, my dad and I, at the point where the waves break and meet the beach. It is a blessed summer, and we are on family vacation at Holden Beach, North Carolina.  I am six years old, and this is the time of year I get to have my dad’s undivided attention.  He is not working or managing life at home; he is resting and playing with me and my sister. I am tossing my head back as he throws me into… Continue reading Longing for Strong Arms